The Defining Years...

When I think of my teenage years, one word comes to mind –defining. Those are years that really defined who I am.

I didn’t come from a Christian home, nor did I come from a home that lead by example. I did, however, have great friends and a great church. I accepted Christ as my saviour when I was ten years old at a Bible camp after being invited from a friend. And from there, I never let go of the Father who called me his own.

As I entered my teenage years my life at home as I knew it crumbled. My mom had an affair and left my Dad, moving eight hours away. Initially I went with her, thinking I needed to take care of her. After only a month and a half I came to the conclusion that she did not need me there, or really even seem to want me there. I moved back in with my Dad. During this time I clung to Jesus. Even though everything around me was falling apart, I refused to believe God didn’t care. I attended Church every Sunday. I went to Bible Camp every summer. I began to lead my ISCF (Inter School Christian Fellowship) group at school. I managed to stay away from things that would make me stumble like drugs and alcohol. My faith was growing and strengthening.

Just when it seemed things couldn’t get any worse, my Dad informed me that he would be moving a province away to move in with his internet girlfriend. Just a few months shy of my 17th birthday, I informed him that I would not be going with him. I had realized that I needed my church and my friends to continue to help me through this difficult time, and I felt I wasn’t ready to be strong enough in my faith alone to stay true to God if I moved to a place where I did not know anyone who could help me spiritually. Being 16 with no job and no money, I had no idea where I would stay. I prayed and prayed for God to allow me to finish my last year of highschool where I had a strong Christian environment. During this time I wrote the following song:

Whistling Wind, Why do you sing
I hear you call my name
Your voice is so clear as I shed my tears
I’ve messed up once again
I’ve turned my eyes upon myself
And now I fear I’m beyond help
But I hear you call my name
No, my life will never be the same

Oh, Lord, Here I am
I beg you, hear my plea

At the time I didn’t know exactly what this song meant. The following day at school my friend came up to me and said “You can live at my house. Rent-free.” I was shocked. My friend would be graduating that year and would not be living at home, but her family, who were Christians, had decided to open their home to me. Now I realized what my song meant….I literally was begging God to allow me to stay, and he heard my plea.

I moved in a few months later and was amazed at the faith of my friend’s family. They asked nothing of me, but loved me and lead completely by example. I stayed there for a year until I moved on to Bible College.

I am now 24 and have started my own family. As I look back at those years that were so hard I know that they have shaped me to become who I am, and shape who I am becoming each day. I look at my daughter and know that when she hits her teenage years I can say, “It is possible to live for God as a teenager. And I will be with you every step of the way.”

For a good read for teens check out Tricia Goyer's book, "My Life Unscripted".

In The Beginning...

In I must confess, this is not my first attempt at blogging. I did have a myspace account where I blogged, and I quite enjoyed it. However, as the Facebook craze took over, I found myself opening a Facebook account and becoming just as addicted as many other people. I am now ready to get back to some serious blogging.

I am a new member of the “Mom” club. I am a proud mother of my 2 month old baby girl, Alyssa. Each day brings so much joy, yet I can still remember my feelings of uneasiness when those first few weeks we had her home. I don’t know how all of you mothers out there felt when you brought your first child home, but I know I was hit with a big reality.

When you are trying to conceive you are often consumed with thoughts of hope. Then, to your surprise, you find you are pregnant. The next nine months are filled with feelings of excitement for the baby to come. How exciting it will be to hold her little hands, and rock her to sleep, and dress her in all the cute little clothes.

Then, you bring her home.

And all of a sudden, you realize, maybe you don’t know what you got yourself into. I mean, how in the world did you ever consider you could do this? Mix the first few weeks of feeling frazzled with a bit of colic, and you wonder if this is what the rest of your life will be like. And then you chastise yourself for thinking so badly. You must be a horrible mother if you have thoughts like this.

Now, I know for some Mothers they just seem to naturally ease into the Mother role. But I have learned that there are some of us that don’t find it so natural at first. I am here to say, Praise the Lord, it passes, and every day with your little blessing just gets better. Your heart leaps the moment you see that child smile for the first time, or starts to coo, or reaches for her toy. There comes a point where you realize that you don’t know what you would do without this beautiful child in your life. And that’s when you know that everything is going to be okay. Actually, it’s going to be better than okay, it’s going to be amazing.