Hick. Redneck.
A few of the names my city slicker friends used to describe me growing up. I resented it at the time, but now am proud of it! :)
The truth is, even though I have lived in the city since I graduated highschool, I am a smalltown girl. I always will be. I can't get it out of my blood. It has helped shaped me, and I am thankful for that.
We don't live right in the city, but it's not the same as living in a smalltown. We still go to the city to run all our errands, or for "costly" entertainment. But there are some days, like today, that I miss the smalltown feeling. Sometimes I feel like I stand out like a sore thumb in the city.
I actually lived in a big city, Hamilton, until the age of ten. When we moved, I cried for almost 4 months because I wanted to go back. Little did I know I would get so attached. Since that four months I have not once cried for my "days in the city". However, I can say I've shed tears over missing the small town.
Sometimes I long for those days when going "out" means finding a spot in the bush to have a bonfire, roasting marshmallows and hotdogs, or finding some rocks to jump off of into the lake, or going fishing or hiking. I miss the winter days of wearing ten layers of winter gear to go out snowmobiling, or skating on the lake, or tubing down our favorite camp hill. When we wanted to hang out indoors we went to someone's house and played board games, watched movies, or listened to music.
Before I went to college, I had only been to a sit down restaurant a handful of times. I had never heard of Pita Pit, Kesley's, or Montana's. We had one movie theatre that played one movie twice a week. We didn't have a mall to go "hang out in".
Sounds boring to most, but to be honest, I find myself more bored in the city than the smalltown. I guess a part of me will always still be in the smalltown, no matter where I go.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Temper Tantrums
Yes, we have officially reached the stage of temper tantrums. Maybe a little early, but Alyssa has done everything early from the moment she came into this world, so I can't say I'm surprised.
Today was one of those days that takes all your will-power to discipline and not give in. Sam and I had been rotating between time-outs and not giving attention when she throws a tantrum. But today, even after 1 time-out, there she was throwing a fit on the floor. Crying and waving her hands and legs, this went on for over 20 minutes. It seriously took everything within me not to start crying too. Even though I knew she was fine, it is heartbreaking to see my beautiful daughter so upset and beside herself, with red eyes that are starting to grow very tired. Even after a few "Alyssa, come to mommy"' 's, she wasn't budging. By that time I knew if I went to her and picked her up I'd be letting her know that if she cries long enough she'll get her way.
Alyssa has been learning quite a few words, so we have really been working on her using those words rather than whining. When it's time to get out of the crib she needs to say "up, please", or when she is done eating and wants to get out of the highchair she needs to say "all done". So I am well aware that she is capable. But in the heat of the moment my heart is arguing with my brain saying "but she's just a BABY!!!!!!"
After about 20 minutes of her tantrum this morning, Alyssa finally came over, stopped crying, and curled up in my lap. I was relieved it was over, and happy I hadn't given in, but most of all, I was finally happy I could hold her close.
I wish I could say the rest of the day has gone smoothly. Like I said, it's the temper tantrum phase here in this household. Alyssa is such a smart, strong-willed child that I know we will have so many moments of enjoyment with. I am just praying really hard that we do this parenting thing right. I thought it was scary when we brought her home, but when you truly realize how your decisions can really affect how they grow up, then it gets REALLY scary.
Today was one of those days that takes all your will-power to discipline and not give in. Sam and I had been rotating between time-outs and not giving attention when she throws a tantrum. But today, even after 1 time-out, there she was throwing a fit on the floor. Crying and waving her hands and legs, this went on for over 20 minutes. It seriously took everything within me not to start crying too. Even though I knew she was fine, it is heartbreaking to see my beautiful daughter so upset and beside herself, with red eyes that are starting to grow very tired. Even after a few "Alyssa, come to mommy"' 's, she wasn't budging. By that time I knew if I went to her and picked her up I'd be letting her know that if she cries long enough she'll get her way.
Alyssa has been learning quite a few words, so we have really been working on her using those words rather than whining. When it's time to get out of the crib she needs to say "up, please", or when she is done eating and wants to get out of the highchair she needs to say "all done". So I am well aware that she is capable. But in the heat of the moment my heart is arguing with my brain saying "but she's just a BABY!!!!!!"
After about 20 minutes of her tantrum this morning, Alyssa finally came over, stopped crying, and curled up in my lap. I was relieved it was over, and happy I hadn't given in, but most of all, I was finally happy I could hold her close.
I wish I could say the rest of the day has gone smoothly. Like I said, it's the temper tantrum phase here in this household. Alyssa is such a smart, strong-willed child that I know we will have so many moments of enjoyment with. I am just praying really hard that we do this parenting thing right. I thought it was scary when we brought her home, but when you truly realize how your decisions can really affect how they grow up, then it gets REALLY scary.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The US Election
This seems weird to be blogging about the US election, since I didn't about the Canadian election, but that's probably because I feel an issue that has inspired me to blog.
First of all, it is pretty weird to me that Canadians seem to be more involved and worked up about the US election, but I guess in all honesty, there has been more coverage of the US election than there was of the Canadian election. Obviously, this shouldn't be.
As many of you have probably heard by now, Obama has won the election. Now, this blog isn't to declare my opinion on who I think was the best candidate, because to be honest, although I had heard a bit, I would have needed to learn more about each candidate before making a proper decision.
My concern is about the goal of voting. It has been stated again and again how history has been made, how Obama is the first black president. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that our world is seeing past colour, and that racism is becoming a thing of the past (although unfortunately is still existent, just not as much). But it seemed like the focus of this campaign was "making history". Will the US elect their first black president, or their first woman vice president? I don't believe the candidates presented this in their campaigns, but the media was sure to press the issue.
I kept hearing last night how "history was in the making". But was wondering why the focus was on the colour or gender of the candidates, rather than who could be a better leader. This is not an argument to say Obama can't be a great leader - he very well may be. And he may very well be the better man for the job. Only time will tell, as it always does when it comes to electing presidents and prime ministers. But I pray that when people cast their vote they weren't voting to "make history" but to pick the leader they felt could best lead their country.
Anyways, like I said at the beginning, it's kind of weird that us Canadians are all concerned about the US election.
First of all, it is pretty weird to me that Canadians seem to be more involved and worked up about the US election, but I guess in all honesty, there has been more coverage of the US election than there was of the Canadian election. Obviously, this shouldn't be.
As many of you have probably heard by now, Obama has won the election. Now, this blog isn't to declare my opinion on who I think was the best candidate, because to be honest, although I had heard a bit, I would have needed to learn more about each candidate before making a proper decision.
My concern is about the goal of voting. It has been stated again and again how history has been made, how Obama is the first black president. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great that our world is seeing past colour, and that racism is becoming a thing of the past (although unfortunately is still existent, just not as much). But it seemed like the focus of this campaign was "making history". Will the US elect their first black president, or their first woman vice president? I don't believe the candidates presented this in their campaigns, but the media was sure to press the issue.
I kept hearing last night how "history was in the making". But was wondering why the focus was on the colour or gender of the candidates, rather than who could be a better leader. This is not an argument to say Obama can't be a great leader - he very well may be. And he may very well be the better man for the job. Only time will tell, as it always does when it comes to electing presidents and prime ministers. But I pray that when people cast their vote they weren't voting to "make history" but to pick the leader they felt could best lead their country.
Anyways, like I said at the beginning, it's kind of weird that us Canadians are all concerned about the US election.
Monday, November 3, 2008
I'm Blue....
The title pretty much sums up how I've been feeling for the past two months. I'm blue. Down. Sad.
Sam and I wanted to have another baby. And we are so excited to be having another one. But me and pregnancy, we do not go well together. 24/7 I have morning sickness and am super tired, and it leaves room for little else in my life. My house is a disaster. I feel overwhelmed at the smallest task, like doing a sink full of dishes, or a load of laundry. I don't like to be cuddled or touched when I am feeling sick either. Although I miss going out, I don't like to do it too much or too long because it's exhausting. And even though I know it's not true, it feels like it will never end! I am 13 weeks today, and for most women they start feeling better. I have had days where I thought maybe there was a slight change, but then I'm hit with another rough day and so I am not so sure.
The thing is, I feel horrible feeling this way. I know there are tons of women out there who can't get pregnant, or do not have successful pregnancies, and would LOVE to be in my shoes. I know that, Lord willing, at the end of these 9 months I will be blessed with another beautiful baby. I especially know after having Alyssa, that it's all worth it. And I know that there are people going through such worse things than this. So, maybe sometimes I think it's better to keep myself locked in my house while I am miserable, because I don't want to offend anyone with any complaints. Because deep down, I know I am blessed to have this morning sickness and tiredness.
But I'm really missing some things that I can't wait to get back to normal, like taking Alyssa outside more often, or cuddling more with my husband, or making delicious smelling and tasting meals. I can't wait to play in the snow this year with Alyssa, or be able to do a bunch of Christmas baking. I can't wait to have company over and NOT use the paper plates cause I just don't have the energy to wash all those dishes.
It's the little things we take for granted. I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband and daughter who cheer me up just by being here.
Sam and I wanted to have another baby. And we are so excited to be having another one. But me and pregnancy, we do not go well together. 24/7 I have morning sickness and am super tired, and it leaves room for little else in my life. My house is a disaster. I feel overwhelmed at the smallest task, like doing a sink full of dishes, or a load of laundry. I don't like to be cuddled or touched when I am feeling sick either. Although I miss going out, I don't like to do it too much or too long because it's exhausting. And even though I know it's not true, it feels like it will never end! I am 13 weeks today, and for most women they start feeling better. I have had days where I thought maybe there was a slight change, but then I'm hit with another rough day and so I am not so sure.
The thing is, I feel horrible feeling this way. I know there are tons of women out there who can't get pregnant, or do not have successful pregnancies, and would LOVE to be in my shoes. I know that, Lord willing, at the end of these 9 months I will be blessed with another beautiful baby. I especially know after having Alyssa, that it's all worth it. And I know that there are people going through such worse things than this. So, maybe sometimes I think it's better to keep myself locked in my house while I am miserable, because I don't want to offend anyone with any complaints. Because deep down, I know I am blessed to have this morning sickness and tiredness.
But I'm really missing some things that I can't wait to get back to normal, like taking Alyssa outside more often, or cuddling more with my husband, or making delicious smelling and tasting meals. I can't wait to play in the snow this year with Alyssa, or be able to do a bunch of Christmas baking. I can't wait to have company over and NOT use the paper plates cause I just don't have the energy to wash all those dishes.
It's the little things we take for granted. I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband and daughter who cheer me up just by being here.
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