Sam and I have just started some parenting classes with our church. Last night was the first lesson. I was challenged already! Yesterday we learned about the importance of the husband and wife relationship coming first, before the children. I found it hard to swallow, as I always feel it's important to put the child first. However, as we learned last night, your children want to see that you love each other! And you can say over and over again that you "love Daddy", but it's the actions that will truly convey what you feel.
I didn't realize these classes could get emotional. On the DVD that we were watching, the speaker had asked us to remember when we were children, and when our parents were fighting, what did we do? Some of us ran to our room and cried, praying they would stop. Some of us tried to separate them. But I think all of us just wanted one thing...for them to love each other. Children need to know their household is a safe haven. They need to know that it's stable at home. And that should be priority.
Wow, learning all this kind of stuff makes me scared to raise my children. Raising kids, as we all know, is a HUGE responsibility. And they are depending on us to be loving, but to discipline, to protect them, but to not overprotect them, to guide them, but to let them learn for themselves as well.
One thing I have been very thankful for is that when it comes to raising our daughter, my husband and I are always on the same page. And if we weren't, we don't try to overstep eachother...we discuss it and decide what's best. I think it's important that children see you as a united front, and not to think that if "Daddy says no, Mommy says yes" or vice versa. I think it most likely could cause a lot of conflict in the house.
Wow, we have so much to learn...lol.
Wow, we have so much to learn...lol.
1 comment:
When I got pregnant and then had Jude I always felt sad for people who say their children are their life. I too found out this information about putting your marriage first while reading a book once I had Jude and it made WAAAAY more sense to me.
We need to put our marriages first, as they are the groundwork for everything else.
Someone once was asked by their child, "If you were in an accident and could only save me or Daddy, who would you save?"
The parent replied, "Daddy, because I can always have another baby but never replace the love of my life,"
Super harsh but interesting eh? Why do we think we are supposed to put our children ahead of our spouses...
The funny thing is, the child was COMFORTED by this answer because it reinforced that his world was a safe and secure one where his parents loved each other.
Anyway, I digress... LOL!
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