I'm Blue....

The title pretty much sums up how I've been feeling for the past two months. I'm blue. Down. Sad.

Sam and I wanted to have another baby. And we are so excited to be having another one. But me and pregnancy, we do not go well together. 24/7 I have morning sickness and am super tired, and it leaves room for little else in my life. My house is a disaster. I feel overwhelmed at the smallest task, like doing a sink full of dishes, or a load of laundry. I don't like to be cuddled or touched when I am feeling sick either. Although I miss going out, I don't like to do it too much or too long because it's exhausting. And even though I know it's not true, it feels like it will never end! I am 13 weeks today, and for most women they start feeling better. I have had days where I thought maybe there was a slight change, but then I'm hit with another rough day and so I am not so sure.

The thing is, I feel horrible feeling this way. I know there are tons of women out there who can't get pregnant, or do not have successful pregnancies, and would LOVE to be in my shoes. I know that, Lord willing, at the end of these 9 months I will be blessed with another beautiful baby. I especially know after having Alyssa, that it's all worth it. And I know that there are people going through such worse things than this. So, maybe sometimes I think it's better to keep myself locked in my house while I am miserable, because I don't want to offend anyone with any complaints. Because deep down, I know I am blessed to have this morning sickness and tiredness.

But I'm really missing some things that I can't wait to get back to normal, like taking Alyssa outside more often, or cuddling more with my husband, or making delicious smelling and tasting meals. I can't wait to play in the snow this year with Alyssa, or be able to do a bunch of Christmas baking. I can't wait to have company over and NOT use the paper plates cause I just don't have the energy to wash all those dishes.

It's the little things we take for granted. I am so blessed to have such an amazing husband and daughter who cheer me up just by being here.